When I heard the announcement of nursery and videos of lesbian sex on japanese public transportschool closures brought on by the novel coronavirus last Spring, my heart sank. My son, Sidney, had just received an official diagnosis of autism, and here we were condemned to months of isolation.

I knew I was in tune with Sidney and his needs, but I'm not a special needs educator. My biggest fear was that despite my best efforts, Sidney might lose some of his hard-fought language and engagement skills while suffering mentally.

As the particularities of Sidney’s challenges have become more clear, I’ve done my best to understand him and help him thrive in a world that in many ways is not set up for him. For a while, I saw avoiding screens and technology as critical to that effort.

When my son’s speech and language delay was first highlighted, in 2016, there was a negative stigma attached to screen time with children, both for neurotypical and neurodivergent kids.

The professionals who worked with us explained that the best way to support Sidney’s progress was to encourage as much face-to-face communication and turn-taking as possible. Unable to see then how screen time would help with either of those things, it was a short mental leap to thinking of digital devices as the enemy.

It took a global lockdown to dislodge that viewpoint, and I'm glad that it did.

1. Ask questions (of Alexa)

Sidney is verbal but his ability to understand and comprehend language is still somewhat limited for his age. Without kids his age to hang out with, I was concerned that his progress would plateau or worse, go backwards.

Trying to engage an autistic child in an organized or structured activity is possible, but it’s not easy. At times, it’s a little like trying to cellophane wrap a chocolate pudding. After a few weeks of full lockdown, Sidney was getting increasingly bored with his PECs cardsand Colorful Semantics – tools that help autistic people build communication skills. My tired attempts to bounce around the kitchen like Blippi were also less and less effective over time.

So, I turned to good old Alexa for support. By firing up Alexa and modelling how to request a song or ask a question, I encouraged Sidney to make choices and verbalize them with clarity.

It took a little while and Sidney did get a little frustrated, but when he finally got a response to his request, his face illuminated with pride and as he got to sing and dance with me when Alexa played one of his favourite songs, there was an incentive to keep practicing.

We filled many hours in the kitchen putting Alexa to work. By throwing voice technology into the mix during lockdown, I unlocked a curiosity in Sid. Now, when we’re out and about, I model Sidney’s conversations with Alexa, prompting him to ask me questions so I can give a simple answer. With this practice, Sid is now more motivated to ask questions and make observations, unprompted.

2. Time to learn and time to play

I've come to realize Sidney is a digital native and will grow up surrounded by screens and all manner of autonomous gadgets. So, as long as he’s not glued to a smartphone or tablet 24/7, what’s the harm?

Despite the negative stigma attached to screen time, many parents of autistic children believe the pros outweigh the cons—and I think they're right.

Not long ago, looking for additional ways to stimulate my son during those endless afternoons in lockdown, I took the plunge and downloaded the Otsimo learning app, designed for children with special needs.

We spent around an hour a day on the app, identifying household objects and fruits, writing digital letters with screen pens, completing virtual puzzles, and sounding out words. It was great and complemented our voice tech-inspired conversations.

Not only did it help with Sidney’s educational development, but it encouraged him to invite me into his play as well as his conversations, which has improved his communication and turn-taking abilities. Another tech-based bonus.

Now Sidney has a kid's Amazon Fire tablet. We play a mix of educational and fun games, including SpongeBob On The Runand Cut The Rope, among others.

This practice mirrors the growing consensus around screen time for kids. Experts now advise parents to be mindful of the quality of contenttheir kids are engaging with and the context in which it is used. Rather than strictly monitoring the amount of screen time, the focus should be on supporting a range of activities that are critical to kids' healthy development, some of which will occur on screens and some won't.

I use a daily storyboard to give Sidney a head’s up about when his screen time is ending. It works most of the time, although the pad has flown at my head in protest on a few occasions. But, a little gaming gives Sidney the downtime he needs to process his day while reducing his anxiety about the world around him.

Also, sometimes I play SpongeBob On The Runwhen Sid is asleep.

3. Show the robot around

Stimming—also referred to as self-stimulating behaviors—is a common autistic trait. By performing repetitive behaviours for long periods, autistic people can restore a sense of order in a world that is chaotic, unpredictable, and overwhelming.

For Sidney, stimming usually comes in the form of repeating the alphabet over and over again, acting out a small segment of a scene from a favorite book or TV show, or running up and down while flapping his arms.

I love watching Sidney stim as I know that he is happy and content. But sometimes the timing is inconvenient, and I need to move him onto a new activity or leave the house for one reason or another. Doing so without preparation can cause the kind of stress and disruption that leads to a meltdown.

Enter the family robot. It’s only around one foot tall and he doesn’t do a great deal, but this little blue AI-powered companion is an invaluable addition to our home. It repeats simple phrases, imitates human gestures, and, most importantly, it follows you around.

When Sidney is deep into astim and I need to engage with him, I fire up the robot, which Sid has named ‘Meda’, and say “hello.” Once Meda responds with a “hello” of its own, I start to walk around near Sidney so the robot follows. Eventually, Sid will stop what he’s doing and want to take over.

Once Sidney has started to hang out with the robot, I say things like, “Meda, Sidney is going to show you how to get his coat and shoes on” and “Sidney can show you his storyboard to tell you what’s happening next.” More often than not, Sidney responds with pride, showing Meda how to do things like a big boy while caring for his blue, boxy companion without upset.

4. Go deep into his interests

YouTube isn’t exactly a well-kept secret—I’ve been getting lost in music videos and TED Talks for years. But, what has amazed me recently as a parent is just how immersive you can make a YouTube experience. When Sidney is in need of comfort, I’ve found YouTube to be an excellent tool for stimulating his imagination while raising a few extra smiles.

Sidney, like many autistic children, has strong special interests. He loves the sea and he loves space. Over the summer, I turned his room into a space-themed sanctuary, complete with a feature wall packed with stars, planets, astronauts, and aliens.

I find space exploration simulation videos on YouTube, make a den in Sid’s room, switch on his mini planetarium, and take us on a space adventure, telling him a story while performing all of the appropriate sound FXs and turbulent space movements as we reach the outer limits of the virtual universe.

Our YouTube adventures combine all of the best elements of exploration, communication, and tapping into special interests in a positive way. It’s fun too, and certainly the closest I’ll ever come to being an astronaut.

The pandemic lockdown gave me a crash course in realizing how beneficial technology can be for my autistic son, if I'm willing to be open-minded and creative. I’ve also come to the realization that the war I raged on technology was largely internal. Really, it was a question of acceptance.

After I stopped blaming myself for Sidney's autism and fully accepted things for what they were, I began to loosen up and dip my toes back into technology. Now there are no barriers, only balance and progress.