If you're able to see through your Beto-inspired veil of grief,difference between eroticism and sex there's so much *actual* joy to be found in Tuesday's 2018 midterm election results.
Happiness is a foreign emotion to most of us by now, but please consider the following: women, people of color, and LGBTQ candidates had a historic night on Tuesday.
Everywhere you looked -- even freaking Florida -- there were signs of progress.
SEE ALSO: Politicians are trolling to win the midterms. Some of it is actually good.Here are the 2018 midterms' most impressive historic firsts:
1. Over 100 women were elected to Congress, the highest number ever. They're disproportionately Democrat and enraged.
2. America elected its first-ever lesbian Native American ex-MMA fighter. Her name is Sharice Davids, she'll be a Democratic congresswoman in Kansas, and she has guns of steel.
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3. Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar will become the first-ever Muslim-American women in Congress. Tlaib is a Democratic Socialist who will represent Michigan in the House of Representatives. Omar is also a Democratic Socialist who will represent Minnesota.
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4. Omar will also be the country's first-ever Somalian-American congresswoman. She came to America as a refugee more than twenty years ago.
5. Colorado elected the country's first-ever openly gay governor. Democrat Jared Polis won comfortably in Colorado last night. A fun, tender fact: Polis rose to fame because he ran a successful greeting card company.
6. Democrat Angie Craig is the first openly LGBTQ person in Minnesota to be voted into Congress.
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7. Ayana Pressley became the first black woman to be elected to Congress in Massachusetts. It only took more than two hundred years.
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8. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortezbecame the youngest woman ever elected to Congress.New York, represent!
9. Florida elected its first openly lesbian mayor, Margaret Romero. My favorite retiree beach community Key West came through.
10. The U.S. elected not one but twoNative American women to Congress for the first time ever. Both Sharice Davids, mentioned above, and Democrat Deb Haaland from New Mexico were elected last night.
11. Democrats Veronica Escobar and Sylvia Garcia became the first Latina women from Texas to be elected to Congress. Even though Texas is over one third Latino, this is the first time the state has ever elected Latino congresspeople.
12. Republican Marsha Blackburn became the first female senator in Tennessee. She'll probably vote to gut your healthcare, but this technically counts as a historic first.
13. Connecticut elected its first-ever black female congresswoman, Jahana Hayes.
14. Letitia James became New York's first-ever black attorney general. She's also the state's first woman to hold that office. President Trump should start feeling nervous right about now.
15. Janet Mills became Maine's first-ever woman governor.Mills, not Sen. Susan Collins, will be the most powerful woman in Maine.
16. Democrat Lina Hidalgo became Harris County, Texas' first-ever immigrant Latina judge. She's 27-years-old.
17. Nickie Antonio became the first-ever openly LGBTQ candidate to be elected to the Ohio State Senate.
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18. Jennifer Webb became the first openly LGBTQ woman to be elected to the Florida House of Representatives. Florida for the win! (In some places, at least.)
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19. Betsy Driver became the first-ever openly intersex elected official in history.She will be mayor of Flemington, New Jersey.
20. Guam elected a female governor, Lou Leon Guerrero, for the very first time. Time to move to Guam, everyone.
21. Thousands of Americans fell asleep happy for the first time in years. Happy is a strong word nowadays. It's finally safe to use it.
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